... like you promised.

As I get older, I see that most promises are never kept. Most promises are just vague formalities, things we say to be polite or to end conversations with people. "Yeah, we should hang out sometime... I'll call you..." We have no intention of doing so, yet we say that we will.

Some things are in the heat of a moment. Your mind gets all wrapped up in the emotion of the moment and say things you'd never say otherwise. "I love you... you're incredible."

Its hard to distinguish these forms of promises from other, true forms of the term. You'd like to think that one would only say things they really mena, but we know that is not true.

So the question is, "what is considered a lie?" If someone breaks their promise to you, is it not considered a lie? What if the promise was made in passing? What if it wasn't?

I always thought I was one of those girls that didn't act like a girl. If something is wrong, I'll tell you how to fix it. If there's something I want, I'll tell you how to get it for me. But more so, I never thought I'd be the one to assume that every word out of your mouth to be a lie. In my younger days, I really used to be more trusting.

And now, I'm conflicted. I want to believe that everything you say is true. That you wanna be with me as much as I do you. That you've just been insanely busy and have had no time... That you haven't tired of me... But instead, I'm left wondering if you really mean it. If you are telling me the truth, or just a truth that I'll settle for...

I really used to be more trusting. That is, until I got lied to enough. Its amazing that people will lie about the dumbest things. I actually had someone lie to me about getting a car. (I mean, really... why?) Or where they worked. Then some were a little bigger, like why we broke up. And some even bigger, like that he already had a girlfriend. So like I said, I used to trust what people told me... cuz what reason would they have for lying to me about something like that?

Then I learned. People will lie as long as it will benefit them in someway. Truth is relative, and honesty should never be expected.

Still I have this innate compulsion to believe anything people say. Despite everything, I still want to believe in the good in people. That there is no reason for someone to lie about something like that. However, it seems as if they always do.

So I wonder... if you'll keep your promise...

to hold me down...